This is Ralph’s story—the plain unvarnished truth.

She was born a poor and humble ball of fur somewhere in the Midwest.

June 1990: Ralph is discovered by talent scouts while sunbathing at the Broadripple Public Pool.

July 1990: After a screen test, Ralph is signed to a three-year/3 Million Pounce Treat ™ deal with MGM.

August 1990: Ralph hires a personal trainer to trim her thighs and secretly lines up a liposuctionist as a backup.

September 1990 Ralph goes under the knife at a San Bernardino hideaway clinic.

December 1990 Ralph’s first feature: PAWS: A LOVE STORY is released to critical acclaim. Box receipts top $10 million in the first weekend.

January 1991 Ralph on the cover of PEOPLE magazine. Oprah, Phil, Geraldo, Arsenio call.

February 1991 Academy Awards nominations announced. Ralph Harris nominated as Best Actress for her riveting portrayal of the whore-with-a-heart-of-gold in PAWS; A LOVE STORY.

late February 1991 On the strength of her nomination, Ralph cuts a deal with MGM and signs an agreement with David Lynch to star in BLUE HAIRBALL

March 1991 Broadway producer Roger Hammerstein buys rights to Ralph’s feature film. PAWS! THE MUSICAL goes into production.

March 30 1991 Ralph shows up at the Oscars on the arm of Elvis Presley, her pelt a custom clip job by Bob Mackie. Ralph loses Oscar to Meryl Streep in close voting.

April 1991 Fur flies after tabloids report Ralph involved simultaneously with Warren Beaty, Jack Nicholson and Sting. Ralph denies pregnancy rumors.

October 1991: BLUE HAIRBALL released to uniformly poor reviews. Film dies quietly in second week, Ralph labeled "Box Office Poison!" by Variety. MGM tears up her contract. PAWS! THE MUSICAL racking in the bucks on Broadway. The starlet in the Ralph Harris role is nominated for a Tony.

November 1991: Crushed by her career woes, Ralph is seen frequenting drug dealers’ homes in South L.A.

Variety snarls :"Former Feline Phenom Found Fraternizing with Felons"

January 1992: Totally demoralized, Ralph checks into The kitty Ford clinic to dry out.

March 1992: Her rehab complete, Ralph begins work on DAFFY DEAREST: The autobiographical tale of how her wretched kittenhood drove her into the desperate life she leads today. Oprah, Phil, Geraldo and Arsenio call. Her owners release a statement denying everything.

August 1994 Ralph is offered a spot on Hollywood Squares (in the bottom left corner.) She accepts.

April 1998 Ralph begins a new career as an Order Clerk filling orders for sales of items on Ebay.